Some things I’ve learned from living alone.

I can walk around naked if I feel like it.
No one will care.
Just make sure all the curtains are closed.
Leftovers are my friend.
Make leftovers.
Make them your lover.
If a jar won’t open bang the heck out of it until it opens, because it will.
It has to because having tomato sauce is more important than not having it, besides, who else will do it, if you don’t?
I can watch whatever I want, whenever I want.
I can listen to music, really loud because I don’t have to listen to anything else save for my thoughts.
If I’m lucky, if the volume’s up really loud and Stevie is wailing away on his guitar, or Dylan is smacking away at his harp, then I don’t even have to listen to those.
Make friends with your neighbors.
They’re a life saver.
Loneliness is also your friend.
It makes you stronger.
Doing dishes is optional.
So is vacuuming.
Running out of toilet paper is not.
A cup of tea and a good book really do wonders to calm the nerves and get me back on track.
I can finally understand what reading the newspaper is all about.
Really, just leave me alone for nine minutes while I read about war, politics, who’s running for Mayor and who got a DUI this weekend.
Living alone makes me appreciate people so much more.
Even the really annoying ones – they provide really good laughs.
I just have to remember to stop being afraid.
Sure life is scary.
Living on my own is even more daunting.
But the adventure should out-way most fear.
Don’t forget to breathe.
Don't freeze bananas in their skins.
Why has no one ever told me why?
Also, yams will never be sweet potatoes no matter how hard you try.