An experience of Oneness

I join their families for moments

as I walk behind them on the boardwalk.

I can smell her shampoo, his aftershave I

could reach out and hold their daughter’s

hand.

I become linked to them for a small duration

of their lives, I listen to their inside

conversations, unnoticed. I am so close I

could pose with them for their family

portraits.

We affect each other as we stand,

side-by-side, unassuming.

They have no idea how closely I

watch as they come and go on the

boardwalk.

Or how strongly they smell of last nights

dinner. I am apart of their existence for

instances, brushing up against their rain

jackets, not bothering to say, “Excuse

me.”

For the moment we’re enmeshed. 

Manganese, 25

I just read The Joy of Old Age by Oliver Sacks and reflect upon what my "elemental age" is — I am Manganese: 25, Mn, a hard gray metal of the transition series. Manganese is an important component of special steels and magnetic alloys. The black dioxide of this as an industrial raw material or additive, esp. in glassmaking. ORIGIN late Middle English (referring to a mineral said to be an ingredient of the philosopher's stone). "A transition metal" they say. Yes, hard, grey, an element to add in the production of something else... Sitting behind a glass window at 5:39 in the afternoon I am roasting under in the sun and being worked by the flames of interpersonal communication, navigating the throws of my quarter-life crisis. 

The Periodic Table of Elements 

Rebirth by Fire

Is it any coincidence that both articles use "fast-moving" as their catch phrase? Fast-moving is the name of the game when I think about my life — the habit of a 25-year-old existing in the 21st century. Since the turn of the millennia I've been catapulted into adulthood; learning to make "wise" decisions and attempting to navigate the fact that life moves. This state of constant change, everyone knows it, everyone quotes it, but do we understand the reality of this particular condition? Change is a verb, it's an action, it's the opposite of static.

Fire is a great catalyst for change and my home town has been burning down. With the Yarnell Fire and the Doce Fire on Granite Mountain occurring within one week of each other, I've spent a significant amount of time pondering impermanence. The implications being, if we want to transform, heat and pressure are key, AND transformation requires impermanence. To change is to not carry on any filament of the past. In the past year I've moved out of my child-hood one, the house I was born in was bulldozed, I've lived in a dozen different locations, I've packed up most of my belongings and find myself, my computer, my folding bike, and my guitar outside Yellowstone National Park at the Tumbleweed Bookstore in Gardener, Montana.

I'm beginning to realize that Life is about not freaking out every time something doesn't go according to my plan. Not hating myself when my worst nightmare comes true. Not blaming others for the experience I have. Not knowing the answers is perfectly ok. And knowing what I don't want is half the form.

Trans-form. ORIGIN from Latin trans ‘across.’ ORIGIN verb, from Latin formare ‘to form.’