Life, again and again, after all it's all we've got, don't give it up.

Well, it's all been a bit like a Shrek fairytale feature film. Everything's going great and then–BAM!–life happens. By Life I mean, REAL shit, like getting a cold which turns into getting my gallbladder removed. Life meaning, looking for a place to live, a place to put our art and our bookshelves and have sex in our own bed, or in the kitchen if we want. By Life I mean making dinner and doing dishes and going to work and then not going to work because I got sick. Life is the stuff that makes up... everything. As far as I'm concerned there ain't no vacation baby (read my book) because I don't want time "away" from the doing. I want more "time on" for the doing of the things that really matter; such as reading and writing and meditating and having conversations that bring tears to my eyes. I like that. Life happens. Life doesn't happen to me, it happens with me, while I'm sleeping, while I'm pooping, and brushing my teeth–that's Life. Life is the letter from my uncle, Andrew, just to let me know he's thinking of me. Life is my green tea in a red cup and Jesse coming home late from work and my belly growling. Life is, Just This.

The day I killed the basket and chewed a whole pack of gum.

“Hi,” I said with my mouth waded with gum. “I just stuff–ed an entire...–chew, chew–pack of gum into my–slurp, chew, chew–mouth.” We had a Skype date and the act just couldn’t wait. I was rushing home and I had to see if it would fit. I laughed and said, “Haven’t you ever­­–chew, slurp–wanted to see if you could chew an entire pack–slurp, slurp, chew­–of gum?”

“Well, yes, but I’ve never actually done it.”

“I only got half the–chew, chew, chew–sticks in my mouth and then I couldn’t–I take the entire wad out and show it to her–close my mouth.”

We laugh because sometimes if the desire strikes we just have to go and do it. We both know what that feels like–not to fulfill a desire. It hurts like hell and the whole worlds seems to be going all wrong.

“I just had to try,” I said after she finished laughing at me because I couldn’t talk with the wad in and it was running out of flavor fast.

On my way home I ran over a basket with my car. Sorry mom.