How Do You Play?

Sitting here, with my mother, I think about what she asked me a few weeks ago. It was the question, “How do you play?”

At that moment in time I found it extremely difficult to answer her question. How DO I play, I wondered? Am I really that out of touch with childish amusement? Have a lost my ability to play altogether. Or is it just hard to find that sweet surrender when I am not around children?

Sure, each of us can let loose when we’re WITH kids – making mud pies, playing spies, or building sand mermaids. But can we find it in ourselves to enjoy, I mean really play, when that innocent influence is NOT near by? How can we continue to cultivate that feeling of childish inhibition and enthusiasm when we are alone or even with our peers.

When I thought about it and finally sorted my thoughts, I realized that I really DON’T play. Not that I didn’t know how, but just that I had not taken the time to play in that lovable way. That’s when I also decided that that would need to change.

I started that very day by buying some sparkly, gold eye shadow and wearing it everyday, even to work. Then, that weekend, I played “Dinosaurs” with my neighbor. She’s 26. I also drew some pictures. With finger paint.

Each day I try and find some way to play – to do something for fun, not just in earnest.

At any age, I pose to you this question: How do YOU play? What makes you smile and enjoy and feel completely at home in your skin?

Thanks Mom, for reminding me to play.

Just keep coming back

What is it about the Southwest
It’s mystery
It’s majesty
It’s magnificence

What is it about the Southwest
That makes us want to run out into the open
Throw our arms around it, and squeeze
Never letting go

What is it about the Southwest
We all just keep coming back
It’s in our blood
The air, the sun, the dirt, the water or lack there of

What is it about the Southwest
Is it the history
War upon the people
A sense of freedom and peace

What is it about the Southwest
A soup bowel full of stars
Predictable summer weather
Sunshine with a chance of scattered sunshine

What is it about the Southwest
A dry, rough, prickly exterior
With an array of color and creatures
Water at its heart – an oasis of beauty

What is it about the Southwest
What makes it a parody of love and hate
Friend and foe
Home and home – in all senses of the word

What is it about the Southwest
Serenity
Complexity
Its coarse edges, and its smooth

What is it about the Southwest
Some people visit and say pretty
Others live and say heaven
Some do both and never can make up their minds

What is it about the Southwest
Makes me tick
Makes me breathe
Makes me want to be alive

martini with a twist of billy

33 shots of whisky
a date with a blond
that ended in a dry run

toe tappin’
crowd turning
lip lickin’
kind o’ fun

slicked-back hair
stand-up bass
rollllllled cuffs

these guys were smooth
I mean smoooooth
three cheers for the beer drinkers
and one for the birthday girl with the caramel apple martini

big smile
de-bon-air, debonair
making love to the microphone

they had them captivated
enthralled
and left me laughing – lovin’ it
body singing the Psych-o-billy, Rock-a-billy

lovin’ life
we were
grooving on the sound of a white guitar

On my way home this evening

On my way home this evening,
I saw a red pick-up truck with ladders on top
And I thought of You.
I watched a couple as they savored and indulged in two identical ice cream cones
And I thought of you.
I heard a child laugh with innocence and pure pleasure
And I thought of YOU.
When I stepped through my door, I found Janis, I turned her up loud
And I thought of you.
Reading the newspaper, as I rifled through to the cooking section
And I thought of you.
Sitting here, writing this,
And I thought of you.
You are my guide, my brick wall, my stead-fast pillar of knowing.
you are the one who knows me and my life, we share and play and talk and I am here for you and you are there for me, no matter what.
YOU are my blood, my other half, the letters after my name, in my heart forever and always.
you are my cocoon and my warmth, you are me and I am you.
you are the one I am getting to know as a well as I know my other half.
you will always be and always have been my aspiration and mold of inspiration, the one with the light and dark, to find and be found, to hold and be held by those who love.

The Remedy

So when everyone, their roommate, and their roommate’s friend, mother and second cousin were in Target this afternoon, I walked in and walked right back out. Feeling slightly claustrophobic and a little overwhelmed, the last thing I needed was some irate driver honking and gesturing at me for “pulling out in front of them.” You know the type – I just happened to be in their way.
The remedy: A hardware store. I owe it to my father who showed me the secret pleasures of electric drills, super cool doorknobs, the biggest screws you’ve ever seen and just about every fix-it gadget imaginable. Thanks Pops, because that was just the ticket to clam my nerves and release that great sense of smell, keen on new tires. Wow, people are so helpful, and not the least bit stressy. I just have to remember that for next time I’m in a mood – go to the hardware store. I’m bound to find something cool that I really don’t need but could fine a use for in seventeen years.